Hi everyone. This is first time i post my essay in this forum. I hope everyone can read my essay and please give me comments. I appreciate your helps.
A Person That Has Influenced My Life
The person that has influenced my life is my dad because he is the one that get to know me best and is also the one that I see the most and have known for a long time. He always stands by my side, and whenever I fall down, he encourages me to stand up by myself and on my own feet. My family is not a wealthy family. Therefore, my dad tries to save single penny he earns from work to buy anything that I need, and he always encourages me go to school because he knows that the value of education will determine the future of the person. As a result, I admire him as a great person and have thought that my dad is really superman. My dad has a huge impact on the way I become a person today. He has influenced my life by teaching me the lessons and showing me the right behaviors and wrong behaviors.
My dad taught me the most important lesson: how to be a man. I still remembered the day that my father sat next to me and said that "Hey son, the most important think to help you become the successful person and the helpful person is your honesty. Never lie to anyone and never lie to yourself". After saying that, he slowly explained the value of honesty. He showed me that every bad situation in the world began with a lie. When a person steals something, he lies to the law, or when a husband cheats on his wife, he lies to his wife. My father often tells me that being a man means facing the truth. I always think back on those words when I get into trouble.
My dad's teachings were a cure for my selfishness. He taught me to consider everyone as a part of my family and taught me how love people by sharing and giving. I believe that the biggest fantasy in live is to buy someone something he really needs and watch his facial expression. When I was a kid, my dad and I used to go to Chuck E. Cheese to play games. He always bought me some food after leaving that place. One day, on the way home, we saw a homeless man who said that he had not eaten anything for three days, and asked me for the food that my father bought for me. I immediately refused to give him the good that I had and kept going with my dad. Unexpectedly, my dad held my hand and stopped walking. He asked me why I did not give the food to the homeless man. Of course, I answered that I was so hungry after playing the games, but I saw that my dad did not feel good when he heard this answer. He looked straight to my eyes and said if I gave my food to homeless man, I still had the food at home. The homeless man had not eaten for days, and he was so hungry. After hearing the explanation from my dad, he gave me the chance to decide if I would give my food to the homeless man. I gave the food to the homeless man reluctantly. The homeless man expressed thanks to me. However, when I saw him receiving the food, I did not why that I have feeling that I pleasure in doing this and realized that I had done something good for society. When we got home, my dad told me that he was happy when I give the food to that homeless person. Furthermore, sometimes I took money from my own savings and buy McDonalds food for a less fortunate person and watched him enjoying his meal from a place where he could not see me. I could see more the impact of his teaching during the camp when we ran out of resources, and I shared my personal food with all my campmates. After listening the teaching of my dad, I realized that receiving is good, but giving is better.
From my place I am thankful for everything he taught me. He taught me things that I need or was going to in life. I am what I am because of him and whatever I will achieve in my life will be credited to him. I believe that my dad will always be with me even after his soul leaves his body; he will be there through his teachings that I believe are my duty to pass on to my children. He will be there through me; when the people see my remarkable success one day, they will know the value of his teachings. He taught me everything about life; hope, faith, and the long journey ahead. To me he is the greatest hero.
You know your essay is too long...So I just checked a paragraph.
My dad taught me the most important lesson: how to be a man. I still remembered the day that my father sat next to me and said "Hey son, the most important (I think you need a none here, like idea or thought) to help you become (a successful person ) successful person and the helpful person is your honesty. Never lie to anyone and never lie to yourself". After saying that, he (I think "patiently"would be better) explained the value of honesty. He showed me that every bad situation in the world began with a lie.(what ?) When a person steals something, he lies to the law, or when a husband cheats on his wife, he lies to his wife. My father often tells me that being a man means facing the truth. I always think back on those words when I get into trouble.
May be you can give some examples of bad results when people lie...
Name that food. What was it? Instead of calling it food, tell us what it is so we can have a picture in our minds.
My dad taught me the most important lesson: how to be an honest man. ------ I like this way better, because it focuses on honesty rather than "man." I don't like it when people use "man" to mean something like honorable or strong, because what does that make women? If I hear someone say, "Be a man!" It makes me think of patriarchy. Nobody ever says, "Be a human!"
Anyway, nevermind that.
This is a terrific essay. I like the ending, especially that last sentence. So... you wrote about honesty, selflessness, and a few other qualities. But is there a main idea for this whole essay? Something more specific than, "My dad is my hero." How about a specific insight? This is already great, but think about a sentence that would contain the concentrated power of the whole essay. Keep this idea in mind all day, and tonight you will know a sentence that contains the essence of the whole essay. Every essays should include at least one sentence like that.
This is very good!!
Le Moyne College, Gannon University, and Daemen College “Person of Influence” Essay
Prompt: Indicate a specific person who has had a significant influence on you, describe that influence.
There are many people in my life who have had an influence on me. I must say that my mother Danette White has had the most significant influence on me because she is always pushing me to do better and has also taught me to be independent and strong. I admire my mom for her strength and independence and for pushing me to be different.
I have always thought of my mom as strong and independent. My mom is the mother of four children, all of which she raised on her own. I know that raising children alone is not easy at all, which is one reason why I always thought of my mom as strong. My mom managed to work, raise her children and keep us happy and healthy. My mom has told me before that raising her children was hard and she did struggle at times. I commend my mother for staying strong and making her children her first priority. As I was growing up I learned to be independent from my mother. She has always taught me that if I wanted something or needed something done that I had to do it for myself. I learned to depend on no one but myself from my mother. I really look up to my mother for everything she has done to provide for her family, even during hard times.
My mother is the one person in my life that is constantly encouraging me in anything I do. Whenever I want to give up my mom is always there let me know that if I try my hardest at whatever I do I can succeeded at it. My mom has always done whatever she could to ensure that I had better opportunities in life including moving into a better neighborhood so that I could have a better education. I am very thankful for the move she decide to make because I know that I have greater opportunities at the school I attend now. While I was growing up my older siblings made a lot of mistakes that I know disappointed my mom. I have learned to listen to what my mother has to say because I know it is important to her that I learn from their mistakes as well as hers and do not make the same ones. Now that I am in high school my mom is always encouraging me to focus on what I want to be in life. My mom has always informed me that there will be downfall in life but I should never let them bring me down.
My mother is the most influential person in my life. I have learned so much from her, just from seeing her care for my siblings and myself. My mother has taught me that strength and independence are important in life and that I can never stop at what I want to do. I am very thankful for the support I receive from my mother.